


But that's another story PART 2

by half_wool



Category: Baby-Sitters Club - Ann M. Martin
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-15
Packaged: 2018-09-17 17:02:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9334439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/half_wool/pseuds/half_wool
Summary: The first part of the story left us after the party at Mary Anne's place, where Stacey and Kristy basically fucked in front of everybody (good times). Here we'll see how Kristy's dealing with the aftermath and how it will definitely change a few things between her and the Club.This is the second part of a two-parts story.I do hope you enjoy!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been so long since I've published the first part of But that's another story. To make it up, here's the ending of the story. And also, there will be sex. You're welcome.

“You certainly look better than at the party,” said Stacey, standing in her doorway.

“You too.” I replied awkwardly. It felt too much like we were together. Like we were a couple or something. I backed away just a bit, so that if people looked at us, they wouldn’t be able to tell that I so badly wanted her.

Stacey looked behind her, in the house. I was still on the doormat outside, rubbing my frozen hands together.

She bit her bottom lip. Hot. “Do you want to get out of here? We could go take a walk.”

She wants us to stay outside? Does she want us to fucking die?

“Okay.” I said half-heartedly.

She hesitated. “Just… Just stay here for a bit, I’ll get ready.”

A few minutes later, she opened the front door and stepped out of the house, looking flawless, as fucking usual. She wore white earmuffs that matched her scarf and mittens, and a kind of wintery trench coat that made me feel like an ugly duckling.

I didn’t know how to begin the conversation, so I decided to make a compliment.

“I like your coat.” Ugh, why is my voice so high and squeaky?

“Thanks,” she replied hastily. She avoided my gaze and it made my blood turn to ice.

“It’s- it’s called a pull & bear coat, actually.”

I nodded, nervously biting my bottom lip. “Oh.”

The only sounds were the crunching noises that our boots made while we walked in the fresh snow. The sun was just starting to rise. At that moment, it felt so romantic; I just could feel my heart swell up. This is the perfect setting. I have to do it now.

“So… You wanted to speak to me about something?”

I swallowed hard. “Yeah.”

Wait, wait, what am I doing here? Suddenly everything I was about to do dawned upon me. Maybe this was a bad idea. I should just excuse myself and run back home. Stacey stopped walking abruptly.

“Look, Krissy…”

“It’s Kris, actually.”

She looked at me.

“I hate it when people call me Krissy.” I confirmed with an awkward smile that I tried to pass as friendly. It’s like my face was too cold to move.

She looked like I just told her that the earth isn’t round, but she only uttered a soft: “Oh.”

That’s it? Jesus. I’m beginning to like her more when she’s stoned.

But she’s still so hot. I HAVE to say something, or I will never forgive myself.

“About the party.” I managed to say before breathing in deeply. Come on, Kris, you can do this. “…When we shotgunned and then kissed.”

She started to walk again, her eyes fixed on her boots.

I put my hands in my pockets. “I- I don’t know about you, but it was, you know, kinda nice.”

She snorted, but she didn’t say anything. It didn’t really sound encouraging, but I still I felt like I had to continue, like I had to get it off my chest now or otherwise that moment would never come again.

“There’re some things that I didn’t tell you guys at the party. And you know, the conversation went that way a bunch of times, but, er... I think I wasn’t really a 100% sure, you know…”

While I continued on rambling, Stacey had stopped in her tracks and was looking at me, completely expressionless.

My heart was beating so fast and so loudly that I could hear it clearly, almost drowning out the sound of my voice.

“So… That’s that, I guess.” I said lamely.

Tch-chuk. Tch-chuk. Tch-chuk.

I noticed that my hands were curled up tightly in my pockets. Either that or I think that they would be trembling uncontrollably. Why doesn’t it get easier?

“So… what are you saying?” She asked me, looking at me with a stern face.

Tch-chuk. Tch-chuk. Tch-chuk.

“I’m saying that… I’m bi.”

Stacey looked at me incredulously.

“What?”

“I- I-“ I stuttered. I took a deep breath. This was getting pathetic and my hands were cold. Better hurry before I turn into an ice cube.

“I am bisexual.”

Stacey averted her eyes. I panicked. I felt my heart skip a beat. No. This cannot be happening. This cannot happen like this… This isn’t how I pictured it. I instantly wished that I could take it back.

Before I could do anything (but really, what could I have done?), she finally turned to look at me. And then, as cheesy at it may sound, I remembered exactly why I wanted to tell her, and why I don’t want to ever take it back.

Stacey and I were looking at each other silently; except for my frantic heartbeat that was throbbing loudly in my neck. I tried to hold her gaze, but I just couldn’t do it. Her eyes felt like two light beams that were burning my skin, and I couldn’t hold her gaze. Snow had begun to fell, and I looked at the snowflakes in her hair instead. She looked so beautiful, so perfect…

Suddenly, I hardened up. No. Holy shit. This is not my life. This cannot be my life. Falling for straight girls. Thinking that the new one is special, thinking that this time, it’s going to be different. I refuse this to be my fucking life. It can’t be like this.

I backed away.

“Nevermind. Forget it…” I laughed humourlessly. “Forget this ever happened, okay? Just… forget about this.” I said, trying to keep my tone light.

Stacey looked at me in dismay.

“Bye.” I mumbled lamely, turning away before Stacey could see me cry. I felt weak, and angry at being weak.


	2. Chapter 2

“ _Where were you_?”

 

I jumped and looked behind my snow-covered shoulder. Watson was right behind me in his dressing gown, a newspaper in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in the other. Shit, I totally lost track of time.

 

“I- I was just out talking a walk.”

 

“Hmm.” He quickly looked at me up and down. Won’t the people in this stupid town will ever stop doing this? Jesus.

 

He smirked. “You don’t look too hangover.”

 

I smiled tentatively, definitely not the best morning for the fake smiles. “Thanks. That’s definitely the kind of compliment a girl wants.”

 

“You’re welcome, sweet lady.” He bowed his head. “But really, tell me, what was the real reason you were out so early?”

 

I removed my coat, my boots, my scarf, very slowly. Was he playing one of his mind games? He used to do that to me all the time. Well, before I left Stonybrook with the intention of never returning. But look at me now.

 

“Why do you care?” I tried to tease him, but I think it just came off as rude.

 

Watson raised his eyebrows. “Should I care?”

 

“No.” I said in the same tone that I used when Karen asked me if I was a “lesbo”.

 

He nodded slowly. “I see.”

 

“Anyway, I’m tired now, I think I’ll just go back to bed.”

 

I headed off for the stairs, but before I could put my foot on the first step, I heard Watson’s voice, barely louder than a whisper.

 

“It was to see someone, right?”

 

I froze. Jesus, I’m such a bad liar. But you know what? I’m fucking sick of this shit. I turned around briskly.

 

“Yes! Happy, now? Jesus Christ! And you know what, grandpa? I went to see a girl! A _hot_ , _sexy_ girl. What would you expect from a big DYKE like me? ”

 

I was panting. The grandpa bit was quite a low blow, to say the least. It’s not his fault that he’s bald so young.

 

Watson didn’t even look surprised. He took a sip from his coffee, his eyes never leaving my face.

 

He swallowed and then looked at me with an undecipherable expression. “Nothing else.”

 

I climbed up the stairs clumsily. It’s the least you can do when you can’t see anything because of the tears in your eyes. At the top of the staircase, I shut my burning eyes and hiccupped loudly. I have to get to my room before anybody sees me. Nobody can see me like this… When I finally closed the door behind me, I sobbed. It wasn’t the same kind of crying that I experienced when I talked with Jo the day before. It was bitter, softer, but it felt much worse. I buried my face in my hands. Fuck, fuck, _fuck_!

 

Ugh. Why am I feeling like this?

 

I put on my pyjamas robotically, carefully avoiding my reflection in the mirror, and went back to bed. I looked at my clock; it was 7:45 am. I closed my eyes.

 

Not long after, I heard a soft knock on my door.

 

“Krissy, it’s time to wake up.” Announced Emily with a singsong voice.

 

“I’ll be down in a few minutes.” I managed to say without sounding like the pathetic loser that I am.

 

I slowly got out of bed. I heard my brothers laughing downstairs. They must be listening to Watson’s fabulous story of how his favourite step-daughter came out to him in the lamest, dumbest, stupidest way. “I told you!” Must be saying my mother with a triumphant smile on her face.

 

I put on the same clothes that I had just got out of a minute earlier. I caught a look of myself in the mirror. I looked ugly and fat, but that was not unusual. My face looked puffy and my hair was horrendous. I looked like a mess. A ludicrous, bisexual mess.

 


	3. Chapter 3

“Good morning, sunshine!” exclaimed Watson. 

I glared at him suspiciously.

“How do you want your eggs? Scrambled?”

I looked around incredulously. Nobody was laughing at me, nobody looked like somebody had just died. So does that mean that Watson didn’t…?

“Yes, please.” I murmured. 

Watson winked at me. “Comin’ right up, missy!”

I sat down. I think it was either that or I was going to pass out from relief. There was a glass of orange juice in front of me. I chugged it down. 

“So, David Michael, what were you planning to do today?”

He tried to swallow the food that he was chewing loudly before opening his mouth to speak. Emphasis on the “tried” here. “Jeremy and I are going to the mall.”

Mom smiled. “That’s great, sweetie!”

The “sweetie” grunted. 

Mom shifted her gaze to Emily, who was quietly munching on her Lucky Charms. 

“And you, honey?”

Emily didn’t even looked up from her cereals. 

“Laura invited me for a sleepover tonight.”

“Perfect! Today there will only be the older ones at home with me and Watson! Isn’t it great, Watson?”

“Yes, dear.” Said Watson while putting a full plate in front me. 

Huh?

...

Here we are. 

I don’t really know how, but Charlie, Sam and I were on the living room with mom and Watson. David Michael and Emily were out of the house, even the dog was out, and so far it’s been the worst five minutes of my life. Or it would make at least the top 10. 

Mom looked radiant. “So, it’s been a while since all my older ones were with me and Watson, so I think it’s time to catch up.”

Errr… What?

She smiled at Watson, who looked as confused as I was. 

“When you think about it, you’ve all been through so much that I don’t even know about! How awful is that?!”

Charlie scratched his beard; it didn’t seemed like his brain could figure out the weirdness of the situation. “What…?”

Sam smirked. “Mom, what do you want to know, exactly?”

Mom clasped her hands in front of her. “Well! I thought about a some questions that I want you to answer honestly.” 

Suddenly, her smile, so wide, didn’t feel real at all. I shivered. What is this? What is happening? I felt like a criminal waiting to be interrogated, waiting for my penitence. I thought about my conversation with Jo, and it gave some courage. I can do this. I’m a badass bitch. I can handle this. 

“Charlie! Tell me, how’s the business going?”

“The business?” Charlie looked like such an idiot. Doesn’t he work there? Gosh. 

“Yes!” Mom laughed. 

Charlie shrugged. “It’s going okay. I guess.”

I rolled my eyes. Watson saw me, I think. 

“And Sam! What about you?”

“Things are smooth, as usual.” Replied Sam in a paternalistic tone. 

Mom nodded proudly. Then, she turned to look at me. 

I’m a badass bitch. I’m a badass bitch. I’m a badass bitch.

“And… What about you, Kristy?”

Wow, and this is the first time she’s asked about me since I’ve arrived. 

I didn’t say anything. 

Mom’s smile slowly disappeared from her thin face. She spoke up. “I’ve noticed that you’ve changed your… er… style.”

I bit the inside of my cheek and felt the metallic taste of blood on my tongue. 

“I mean! You’re not the tomboy you used to be!”

“Yeah.” I said. Now, now, what does she really wants to know?

“Did you bring a few dresses in your bags?”

“Errr… no?”

She sighed, clearly discouraged. “Well, it’s still an amelioration from what you used to wear in middle school, that’s for sure!”

Hey! What kind of back-handed compliment is that? 

“What do you want to know, mom?” I asked forcefully. 

Mom looked startled at my initiative. “Well. You look so feminine and pretty in contrast of since I last saw you. You’re looking more and more like a lady everyday.”

Yeah, so what?

“But you still need to exercise more… By the way, do you still go to the gym? You know that it’s good for you, right? You have to go everyday. ”

She tried to look like she cared. But it didn’t work. I began pinching my stomach nervously. 

Unnerved by my lack of feedback, she continued on. “And what about your… curricular activities? What are your friends like?”

I shrugged.

She tilted her head almost imperceptibly. “Are they… like you?”

I think I forgot how to breathe. It was like my throat was all closed up. Like my brain couldn’t remember how to make the air go inside and outside of me. I knew what she meant by the “like you”. I knew that what she meant was my sexuality. 

Mom spoke up. “Boys, could you leave us and Kristy alone, please?”

Sam and Charlie left the living-room slowly and begrudgingly. I felt relieved. When they were there, it felt too much like an interrogation. 

After my brothers left, I shot a look at Watson. “Watson, did you tell her?” Seeing the confused look on his face, I felt the need to specify. “You told her about what we talked about this morning?”

My mother intervened because Watson could even open his mouth. “Told me what?” 

“Whatever, it doesn’t matter.” I said bitterly. 

My mother was relentless. “Did you tell him that you were confused? Like you said to me all those years ago?”

I buried my face in my hands, completely overwhelmed. 

My mother didn’t wait for an answer. “I’ll take that as a yes. You didn’t tell the kids, right?”

I just shook my head, my face still hidden by my clammy hands.

I heard my mother sighed from relief. That small sigh broke my heart. After a few moments of silence, she spoke again.

“So… if you’re still talking about it, does it mean that it’s something that you can’t… shake off?”

Desperate for an exit, I threw a look at Watson, whom, to my horror, coldly looked back at me. 

“You already know the answer to the question, mom.” I articulated with difficulty. I never wanted to come out to my family like this. It felt wrong and rushed and forced. 

I looked at mom straight in the eyes. She looked like she was still waiting for an answer. My face was numb; I don’t even know how I finally managed to speak. 

‘Yes.” I finally answered without even moving my lips, breaking the eye contact with my mom at the same time. 

Complete silence. My eyes were fixed on my hands that were tightly wrapped around my knees. 

“Mom. I swear it’s not just a phase. Just let me expl-“

My mom shushed me. She. Shushed. Me. 

I literally jumped out the sofa. There were no screams, no tears, no grand declaration. But why do I feel like I just climbed Mount Everest?

Finally, I looked to both my mom and Watson and tried to look as badass as I could. 

“Your daughter is bisexual. Get over it.”

Then, before my mom could say something, I bolted towards my room. When I closed the door behind me, I threw myself on my bed, shaken. It seriously felt like puberty all over again, but gayer. 

The phone rang, stopping my spiralling into self-hate. Pity. I swore loudly. Nope. Not even going to answer that. I’m still ruminating here.

It still rang. Jesus Christ!

I threw a teddy bear at it. How rom-com of me. The phone fell on the floor but it still wouldn’t stop ringing. 

Finally I got out of bed and picked it up. 

“Hello?” I croaked, feeling like I might start crying at any moment. 

“Hey, Krissy! Such a huge hangover, right?”

“Mary Anne?”

“Got that right!”

I just couldn’t handle her right now. Before I could say something, she began her word-vomit again. 

“So! The party was such a success, right?”

I thought about how she made out with Bart. I thought about how I made out with Stacey.

“…Yeah.”

I don’t even think she heard me. “So, I decided that it would a splendid idea to organize a club reunion with the girls at Claudia’s house, just like we used to do. It’s been sooo long!”

“What?”

Mary Anne laughed. “I know, right? So crazy! But I think it’ll work! The girls are all in!”

“All the girls?” I asked carefully. 

“Yeah! Everyone!”

I wanted to go to Claud’s house, but at the same I didn’t want to see Stacey again. I’m not much for some public humiliation. After what happened this morning…

“I don’t think I’ll be able to make it.”

“What?” I could picture Mary Anne’s crestfallen face. 

“Yeah… I don’t feel really well. It’s the hangover, I think.”

“Oh. Still after two days?”

She must think that I’m such a liar. “Yeah. Sorry about that. It really hit me hard.”

“No, no, it’s okay. See ya!”

I hung up. 

Wait, what is this feeling? Is it… Regret? Ha! Ha! Ha! No, I don’t think so. Impossible. Stacey can go kiss my ass. 

Please?

...

The phone rang again a few minutes later. I swiftly picked it up, really pissed off. 

“Mary Anne I told you I do not want to go.”

“But I thought that you loved me?!?! RIGHT?” Exclaimed Jo with a high-pitched voice, before bursting in laughter. 

“Seriously? What are you, obsessed with me or something?” I joked. 

“Just wanted to check on my favourite bisexual lady.”

I sighed. “Horribleness keeps happening. Don’t know why. And my mom’s horrible, too.”

Jo’s answer was quick. “Heard that one before.”

“Which one, that my life is horrible or that my mom’s a bitch?”

“All of the above. You melodramatic ass. ” Said Jo in a smooth, robotic voice. 

“No, this time, it was horrific.”

“Hmm… Never heard that adjective before. Enlighten me.”

“She basically asked me if I fucked girls, and I said yes.”

“WHAT?!?!” Screamed Jo. “NO??????”

“Yes!” I said grumpily. 

“Holy shit.”

“Yeah.”

“How did she react?”

I snorted bitterly. “Like an ass.”

“Runs in the family, the ass thing, doesn’t it?”

“Hey!” I screamed. “Try acting like a little sympathetic, at least?”

“Hmmm.” She hummed empathically. 

“Yeah. It was horrific.”

“… Are you okay, though? You’re safe, right?”

“Yeah.” I replied promptly. “On another note, Mary Ann invited me to Claudia’s house, everybody’s going to be there.”

“Like the party, but less drunk and horny?”

I snorted. “Precisely.” 

“You should totally go!”

“What?! Oh my God, Jo!”

“And you could come out to them too!”

“Oh my God, Jo!” I repeated. I couldn’t say anything else. 

“What?” She honestly sounded confused at my reaction. Like I was overexaggerating or something. Err… Clearly the problem here is NOT me! 

“Are you crazy?” I managed to croak. 

Jo sighed. Never a good thing. “I think you may have been judging them too harshly, man.”

“We- Yeah, I mean-“

“Just do it.”

“Yeah.” I whispered. I mean. Ugh. But she doesn’t understand. What about Stac-

“Look, Kris, I’m so sorry, but I really have to go. Mom’s freaking out about something. As usual.”

“Terrible.”

“You mean it’s a tragedy!” She exclaimed. “Well, anyway, call me after the reunion?”

“Sure.” I said half-heartedly. 

“Bye, love.”

“Bye, hearts.” I said tenderly. I know it’s only been a few days since we saw each other, but I have missed her a lot. And “hearts” was a special nickname that I invented for her in first-year. 

Jo didn’t say anything. I knew that the nickname meant a lot. It’s been a while since we’ve called each other pet names and been lovey-dopey all over each other. 

“Love you.” I said.

“Love you too.”

We hung up.


	4. Chapter 4

Mary Ann was beyond ecstatic when I called her back to tell her that I miraculously recovered from that hangover. After the call, I took another shower and decided to finally put my Colorado-clothes on. Flannel buttoned-up shirts, ripped jeans and an old Alice in chains t-shirt (never forget the classics). I let my hair air dry as I searched for make-up in my old drawers. Yes. I, Kristy Thomas, am looking for make-up. I know that I have it somewhere –I think it was either Stacey or Claudia that forced me to buy some when we were thirteen, “because you’re a teenager”, I remember them saying matter-of-factly. I finally found an extremely gruesome looking eyeliner. It still seemed fine, though, so I applied some on my upper eyelids. Not going to do the whole eye tonight, maybe not the best crowd to try out the Courtney Love look. 

When I finally finished preparing myself, I carefully examined my reflection in the mirror. Quite fierce, if I may say. As I headed downstairs, I think I heard sounds coming from the basement, but I hastily made an exit and a few seconds later, I was outside. I took in a deep breath, the cold air making me shiver. I still remembered where Claud’s house was, so I walked there like the badass bitch that I am. 

 

I thought that it would be the same as last time, but I actually wasn’t the only one knocking on the door this time, anxiously waiting for an answer. Stacey was there too. When I arrived, I didn’t even hear the car coming in the driveway. It’s when I climbed the stairs heading to the front door that I heard Stacey. I jumped and looked behind me. We locked eyes for a second, but I quickly broke the eye contact. We stood in front of the door for a full minute. 

Finally, Stacey breathed : “Kris, I-“

“Not now.” I blurted out rather rudely, before knocking on the door. 

Waiting for the door to open, we didn’t even looked at each other. Well, I didn’t look at her. But I could feel the heat irradiating from her body, and it felt exhilarating. I hated myself for feeling that.

The door opened slowly. 

“Hi.”

Wait. Who’s that?

“Oh! Hi! I almost didn’t recognize you! How are you?” I asked gingerly. 

While she answered, I looked at her. Holy shit, that’s Claud’s sister. What’s her name again? I threw a look at Stacey, but she was busy taking her coat off while she talked about her ph.d. and how everything was great at Oxford or wherever she was studying. Blah blah blah. 

“Claudia’s upstairs with the rest of the girls.”

“Everybody’s already here?” asked Stacey. 

She shrugged and left us there. Hmmm. Still can’t remember her name. 

After she was gone, Stacey opened her mouth to say something. Fearing what would come next, I hurriedly began to speak over her. 

“Let’s go then. Shall we?” I asked while I hopped upstairs. 

We could hear the girls giggling and talking behind Claudia’s closed bedroom door, but since it was shut, we couldn’t really hear what they were talking about. I tried to knock on the door, but I realized that my hands were clammy and shaky. I just stood there, wiping my wet hands on my jeans. 

Stacey sighed. “Kris.” She began to say. 

I jumped and raised my arm to knock on the door. 

“Wait!” Said Stacey, who put her hand on my extended arm. Too late. When I knocked, I could hear the girl’s screaming with glee. What were they doing in there?

But back to Stacey’s hand on my arm. 

My first instinct was to shake it off. I turned my head and looked at her, regretting every second, knowing I had no control over my facial expressions. She could probably see that I looked queasy, but not the I’m-going-to-hurl queasy, more like the fuck-you’re-beautiful-face-you-fucker queasy. Stacey looked back at me, all serious and solemn. 

Suddenly, Claud’s door wasn’t shut anymore. 

“Giiiiiiiiirls!” exclaimed Claudia in a sing-song voice. “The lovebirds are here, ladies!” she said over her shoulder to the girls in her room. 

I sharply shook Stacey’s hand off my arm, but it was too late. Everybody saw it. 

I heard Stacey sighed, clearly annoyed at Claudia. I, on the other hand, didn’t really know how to feel. 

“Hi, Claud.” Stacey and I said at the same time. Oops. 

Everybody aww-ed. Claud put her hand on her heart, touched. “Aww, girls, that’s so cute!”

We entered her room, completely bewildered. 

There was no place anywhere, except for Claudia’s bed. My blood turned to ice. Everybody had big smiles stretched on their faces. Oh, and by the way, by everybody, I mean fucking Bart too. 

“You lovers can sit on the bed, don’t let us disturb you!” squealed Claudia while she sat between Mallory and Mary Ann, who were already squished together. 

Whatever. I don’t feel like sitting with them anyway. I sat on the bed. Stacey too. We exchanged glances. 

“So.” Announced Mary Ann. Everybody looked at her, and she blushed. Bart put his hand on her shoulders, like he was comforting her. It made me feel sick. 

“What were you guys doing before we arrived?” Asked Stacey lightly. 

Everybody cackled loudly and looked at each other. I began to feel queasy again. But not the kind that I felt with Stacey earlier. 

“Well…” said Mallory with a voice full of innuendos. 

I looked at my hands. They were shaking, so I slipped them under my thighs. 

“We were talking about the party,” giggled Jessie. 

Everybody nodded cheerfully. What is this, middle school?

Stacey smiled, but her eyes were cold. “What about it?” 

Everybody started talking at the same time, except Bart and me. But then Bart opened his mouth and everybody shut up. I rolled my eyes. 

“We mainly talked about the truth or dare game. It was kinda epic, you have to admit it.”

I looked down at my ripped jeans. There was a hole on my thighs, and I saw that they were covered with goose bumps. 

“Right, Krissy?” asked Bart. 

I looked up. He had a cocky smile, his arm was around Mary Ann’s shoulders and his thumb was slowly caressing Mary Ann’s arm. I squinted my eyes at him, anger flaring up inside of me. 

“Well, I see that the exchange of spit between you and Mary Ann concretized this,” I said, gesticulating towards his arm that was protectively wrapped around Mary Ann. Wow. Good job at sounding like a pompous twelve-year old, Kris. But it still infuriated Bart. Clearly, it doesn’t take a lot. 

His jaw was set. “I wish I could say the same with you and blondie” he hinted with a condescending tone that would make Sam proud. 

The room fell silent. 

“Excuse me?” replied Stacey coldly. 

It felt like the temperature in the room fell a few degrees, probably like 100 000. 

“Ok, ok, people. Let’s take it easy,” suggested-slash-begged Shannon with a small voice. 

“No. Please, Bart. Spill it out,” retorted Stacey, sounding like she was ready to go to battle. 

“It’s okay, Stacey,” I mumbled. I looked up to her. She was eying me with an expression that I couldn’t decipher. She put her hand on my knee. It was warm and reassuring. For the first time since I got here, I smiled back tentatively. I thought about the conversation that we had in the morning….

...

I backed away. 

“Nevermind. Forget it…” I laughed, but I never felt less in a laughing mood in my entire life. “Forget this ever happened, okay?” I said, trying to keep my tone light. 

Stacey looked at me in dismay. 

Tears were threatening to roll down my frozen cheeks. I felt weak and angry at being weak

“Bye.” I mumbled lamely, backing away slowly.

“No! Please Kris!” Pleaded Stacey. I felt her hand grip my mine. I looked at her, dumbfounded. 

I looked at her hand, then at her, offended. “W-“ I tried to ask in a badass way, but it was pretty lame. 

Stacey spoke before I had the chance to make an actual sentence. “Let’s talk about this.” She insisted, her hand still gripping mine. 

I shook her hand off. “I don’t need to here this right now. I already know what you’re going to say, so thanks, but no thanks.” 

Her eyes were wide. “No, you don’t!”

I laughed. I felt mean and rude, but I spoke anyway. I was too angered and humiliated to care. “Yes, I do!” I wiped my eyes. “Hey, fashion major, guess what? You know that not everybody’s straight and square like mommy and daddy, right?” I looked around me, completely overwhelmed. “Gosh, why am I even bothering to speak to you? Why am I even here? I should never have come. It was a mistake. People here are so stupid and misogynistic and homophobic, it’s making me SICK!”

Stacey’s face was ashen. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you heard me. But I guess they don’t teach you that in polka-dots 101, right?”

“Holy shit, you fucking asshole!” She looked like she couldn’t believe what she heard. “You know I’m not even a fashion major, right?”

She crossed her arms tightly.

“I’m majoring in engineering. And I’m the best in my class. AND my minor is French and this spring I’m going to spend the semester in Paris. Thank you for asking, by the way. ”

…What?

“What’s even your major in college? How to be an arrogant, judgmental asshole? Cause you sure are doing it right.”

I scoffed, but felt less self-assured. What does she know about anything, anyway? Wait, am I actually being arrogant and judgemental right now? 

She accusingly pointed her finger at me. “You come here like you’ve seen all before but you know what? People changed while you were in Colorado doing whatever you were doing. We’re not the same, and clearly you neither. Look at you, you look like-” 

“Say it,” I said defiantly. “That I look like a dyke? You’ll certainly not be the first one.”

She rolled her eyes. “Jesus Christ! I never said that! Would you stop with the self-pity for two seconds?” 

I gaped at her. “You don’t know THE FIRST THING about me!” I roared. “You don’t what I’ve been through!”

She scoffed, clearly exasperated and not impressed by my screaming. “Then tell me! Explain to me what this means!” 

Her saying that made me think of Jo. I softened up a bit and took a deep breath before speaking up. 

“I’m bisexual, which means that I can be with a man or a woman,” I explained.

She didn’t say anything for while. “Are you… confused?”

“NO!” I barked. 

“But you kinda like me, right? So does it means that you’re a lesbian?”

Just her saying that I liked her made me feel embarrassed, but she looked cool about it, so I decided to not freak out and stutter and blush. A good decision, if you ask me. 

“No,” I sighed. “No, it just means that I like a woman. But maybe I’ll fall be with a man after that. I don’t know.”

She looked perplexed. “So… you can love both?”

“Not necessarily at the same time, in the same way.” I said more calmly. I think now is probably not the best moment to try to explain to her that there’s way more than just men and women that I can like. 

“In the same way?” She repeated. 

“Yeah,” I said, rubbing my frozen hands together. “It’s different for everybody, but in my case, I’ve realized over the years that I have a preference for women.”

Stacey bit her lip her lip. She really looked like she was trying to understand. It was the first time that somebody asked me this many questions when I came out to them and I felt vulnerable, but at the same time, it felt liberating. Well, maybe I never really came out to properly to people in Colorado because they already knew what all THIS meant and, because they already kind of knew. 

I guess I never really bothered to EXPLAIN what goes down in my stupid little horny heart.

“So do you think you’ll ever be with a man?” Stacey asked. 

“I don’t know,” I admitted, feeling extremely vulnerable. I mean, shit, that’s the kind of question that I don’t even ask myself!

“It’s so… complicated.” She pointed out hesitantly. 

“Not really. It’s just that we make it complicated.” Stacey frowned and tilted her head. “Like, say my roommate, Jo. She never liked being… categorized. She doesn’t like to be put in a box. So she always describes herself as a sexual being. Nothing else. And really, in her case, it’s true, and it’s what she’s comfortable with. That way, it’s less complicated. Who cares if the person you love has a penis or a vagina or whatever? Isn’t it enough that you love that person, and that that person loves you back?”

“Hmmm. That’s sort of interesting.”

I smiled tentatively. “You think?” 

Stacey looked surprised at my hesitation. “Of course! I’ve never heard about this before!”

I gaped at her. “Really?”

“Kris, don’t act like you knew this before you went to Colorado. You were as clueless as I was two minutes ago. But now I know!” She added cheerily. 

My smile couldn’t get wider even if I tried. “I’m really glad you understand.”

She grabbed my arm and squeezed it tenderly. I shook it off awkwardly.

“Maybe not now.” I said, embarrassed.

“Sorry. I guess I really like to touch people.”

I laughed. “That explains a lot.”

We began to walk again. 

After a few minutes of silence, Stacey spoke up. “So… you really like me, then?”

I pushed my hands further down my pockets. “Yeah,” I muttered. 

No answer. We just continued on walking. I thought about the kiss in Mary Ann’s basement. I thought about the way she stretched her head back to breathe after she shotgunned. How it was so inviting and sensual. I thought about how much I wanted to touch her. About how I wanted to kiss her again and again after we kissed. All the thoughts were there. I tried to shake them off, but I imagined them spiralling inside my head. 

“When I saw you…” I swallowed. I felt like a prepubescent boy. “I thought that you were so…” I laughed softly and looked at the grey sky, completely at lost for words. I finally said lamely, “hot.”

Stacey turned her head to look at me. She was smiling. 

“This is nice,” she whispered softly. 

The butterflies in my stomach were really starting to turn into big fat birds now. “Why?”

“It’s the first time that a girl speaks to me like this. It’s always been guys.”

Suddenly, I thought about something. “Are you still going out with…” I finally remembered the name of the boyfriend she had two years ago. “Paul?” I asked out of the blue. 

“I am.”

I stopped walking. She continued on, not realizing that I had stopped. Finally she turned around. 

“What’s wrong?”

“So you made out with me, we shotgunned, we…” To my utter embarrassment, my voice was shaky. 

Stacey was incredulous. “I only did it because I thought that you were jealous of Mary Ann! I thought that you wanted to make Bart jealous!“ She exclaimed, surprised. “I really thought at that time that you were all over Bart. Remember what I said before we kissed?”

And then, I remembered. A very distant and foggy memory of Stacey slurring: “payback time, right?” made its way inside my alcohol-soaked brain. I gaped at her. Shit. I’m such a fucking moron. 

But, I was still completely disgusted only at the thought of being slightly affiliated to Bart. “After all these years?! PLEASE. And he’s such an asshole.”

“Oh my gosh. I really fucked up,” muttered Stacey, burying her face in her hands. 

“Yeah, pretty much,” I snarled.

“But all this meant that much to you?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” I said lamely. “I really thought that, you know, the kiss…”

She looked up. “Oh, you’re such a prude.” She smiled softly, getting closer to me. This time I didn’t back away. 

She wrapped her arms around me. Her face was close to mine. 

“You were drunk, we were both high, we were playing truth or dare... You were horny.” She giggled, and I laughed too. 

But then I stopped giggling. “I just… I just thought that it meant the same thing for you as it did for me.”

She frowned. “But I don’t like girls.”

I smirked. “Really? Didn’t feel like it when we made out.”

I felt bold. And I felt even bolder when her grip around me didn’t loosened. 

She tilted her head. “What are you doing, Kris?”

I approached my face closer to hers. “You tell me,” I said softly. 

It really felt like an incredibly cheesy thing to say, but by the way that Stacey’s cheeks were flushed, and how her eyes were going from my eyes to my lips, it also felt like the right thing. 

“I’m straight…” She whispered, her lips dangerously close now. 

“Are you really sure?” I asked, daring. It was nice, feeling that way. Audacious; fearless, even. 

Our lips were close, so that I could feel her breath on my cold face. 

And then I went for it. 

How it felt? Way better than when I was drunk and high. 

Slowly, I felt her lips parting from mine. My eyes were still closed. When I finally opened them, Stacey was looking at me with a serious expression on her face. 

“I really think that I… prefer boys, Kris.” She sighed, sounding sorry. 

At that moment, it hurt so much. And not only because it was humiliating. Doesn’t she realizes that I shared things with her that I would’ve shared knowing that she didn’t like me?! I tried to keep my face impassive. 

“Oh. Okay, then. No problem.”

She sighed. “No, it’s my fault. I’m sorry. That was stupid.”

Ouch. 

“It was stupid?” I articulated with difficulty. 

“I was just trying to be honest. The kiss was great, I swear. But I really like guys. I’m sorry. If I liked girls, I’d be still kissing you. But it just isn’t right.”

I sniffed. From the corner of my eye I saw that Stacey looked at me.

“I’m really, really sorry. I wanted to kiss you because I thought that maybe I c-“

“So I was just your tester? What the fuck, Stacey? You’re such a bitch!” I looked at her, my eyes wide with anger. 

“I’m really sorry,” she repeated, and just like that, my anger completely vanished. How is she able to control me like that?

I don’t know how we did it, but we started walking again. We were getting closer to my house, now. 

“You’re a great kisser, by the way. And your lips are really soft.”

I turned my head sharply and saw that Stacey was smiling at me sheepishly. 

“I’m sorry, Kris. I know that it makes me an asshole. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

She opened her mouth, like she was going to say something, but nothing came out. I looked at her lips. I really wanted to kiss them but I fought that urge with all the power inside of me. 

She sighed. “And… I know that it makes you feel vulnerable, telling me all those things.”

I shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. I had already forgiven her, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say it to her. I think I still wanted to see her beg me a little bit more. 

Finally, we were in front of my house. We stopped in front of the driveway. 

“I really feel honoured that you opened up to me and I won’t tell anything if you don’t want me too, Kris. I swear.”

I nodded. 

“Okay.”

...

But now, back to reality. Everybody was staring at us. 

“Awww!!!!!” Exclaimed Claudia in a high-pitched voice. “You guys are just ador-“

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Claud,” spitted Stacey, her face reddening in anger. 

Woah.

“Somebody’s touchy,” said Mallory mischievously. 

I have to tell them. I have to tell them. 

“What the hell?” asked Jessie, completely bewildered. I couldn’t blame her. “What’s happening here? I thought that it was a Club’s reunion! Isn’t it supposed to be fun? Just like the old days?”

“I only wanted to have a nice reunion with all the girls…” said Mary Ann in shaky, pathetic voice. Ugh, she’s disgusting. 

“Well, clearly we’re not all girls here,” insinuated Mallory while throwing a look at Bart, who tightened his grip around Mary Ann’s shoulders. 

Mary Ann blushed and Claudia giggled.

I looked at Stacey. She nodded her head almost imperceptibly. And at that moment, I knew that if I was going down, she would go down with me, even though she didn’t like like me, even if she was straight. And for the first time since I arrived in Stonybrook, I felt like I had somebody on my side. An ally. 

“I want to tell you guys something,” I announced. Nobody heard me. 

“Hey! Listen up!” yelled Stacey. 

Everybody ignored Stacey and was talking at the same time. I breathed deeply. Okay. I never really wanted to come out to fucking Bart, but I have to do this now. This isn’t really the perfect… “setting”, but Stacey’s hand on my knee, and she reacted pretty well earlier, and Claud’s passing around watermelon Jolly Ranchers (my favourite). My friends will understand. They will understand. They’re the girls who helped create a self-sustainable business when we were only eleven, for fuck’s sake! It’ll be okay. 

Finally I decided to take the bull by the horns and do it like the motherfucking badass that I am. I yelled with my coach-voice : “Guys! I have to tell you something.”

Everybody shut up and looked at me. Well, Mallory was smirking (as usual) and Bart wasn’t even looking at me, but it didn’t matter. I needed to tell them. They’re my best friends, they’re the first friends I’ve ever had, we fought, we laughed, we dreamed together. We always thought that we would end at Connecticut State University together, sharing bedrooms and still hanging out, maybe even still babysitting kids! I think some of them still think that, but not me, not anymore. That’s why I think that I owed them something. Who knows, maybe we’ll be closer. It always happens. It happened when I came out to my friends in Colorado. 

“About the party,” I announced. 

I felt like everybody was drinking in every word that I was saying. I sighed and looked down. My heart was beating so fast and I knew exactly why. It didn’t really surprised me. Yeah, after all those years, it’s still really fucking scary. 

“When Stacey and I made out, everybody made a big fuss out of it…”

“Well obviously!” Piped up Shannon. I raised my eyebrows at the interruption. 

“What?” She asked, looking around her. “I thought that we were all thinking that? When they basically fucked in front of us?”

“That would be Bart and Mary Ann, Shannon,” retorted Stacey. 

“No, no,” replied Shannon, shaking her head. “Bart and Mary Ann, they were just fooling around.” Everybody giggled, embarrassed. Unfazed, Shannon continued on. “Well, they looked like they had a good time… But you guys…” She looked lost at words. 

“We felt like we were watching porn,” blurted out Jessie. 

In a way, I’m mortified because I can’t believe that I made out in front of all my friends in such a sexual way that it made them feel like they were watching porn. But then again… He he he. Damn right, bitches. 

I cleared my throat. “That’s why I wanted to speak to you about something. It’s really not easy for me to say and I really want you to understand, because it’s a part of me…”

My mouth was open. The words were there, right at the tip of my tongue. 

“I’m…” Come on, Kris, you can say it. “…bisexual.”

Everybody started talking at the same time again. 

“What?”

“Everybody has that phase in college.”

“But… you can’t be!”

“I knew it. You look a dyke.”

“Oh no, don’t worry, it’s just a matter of figuring it out.”

“You and Stacey are together now???”

I tried at first to answer the questions, to react to the remarks made by my friends, but there were just too many. I blinked, completely confused and flabbergasted at the way my friends were reacting. What the hell is happening here?

“SHUT UP!” Yelled Stacey. We all stared at her. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked fed up. “Now, let’s act like normal human beings, okay?”

Finally, people asked their questions again (in a more polite manner, fortunately), but one at a time, and I answered them at the best of my abilities. But in the end, after all the questions had been asked, I still felt weird and awkward. But that feeling didn’t come from me, it came from the Club. 

It seemed like everyone had their own opinion. Jessie and Shannon were completely confused. Mallory still looked like she was constipated (but I think that’s permanent), Mary Ann looked like she was on the verge of crying, Claud was certain that me and Stacey were an item, and finally, Bart looked… Well… 

Believe it or not, but he “joked” about having a threesome. He also half-joked half-asked me if I wanted to kiss him, just to make sure that I wasn’t confused. 

“I don’t understand people… like you,” I looked at Mary Ann. Her chin was wobbly. What a fucking prick. 

“Why?” I tried to ask in the most patient manner that I could muster. 

“Because you people just don’t care if you sleep with a guy or a… girl.” Her voice was getting higher. “It’s just about the sex; it’s never about love. You’re sleeping around.” She said, burying her face in her hands. 

I rolled my eyes. 

“Okay, Kris, I’ve had enough of this. Let’s get the fuck out of here,” said Stacey firmly while taking my hand. I felt so relieved. Thank God this is over. 

When I began to make my way over all the girls that were sprawled across Claud’s bedroom floor, everybody drew their legs back hurriedly. Mallory had a look that completely threw me off. It was a look of disgust. 

“What’s wrong with you, Mal?”

She gasped. “What’s wrong with me? What the fuck is wrong with you!” 

I could see the others girls fidgeting awkwardly. Stacey tried to pull me out the door, but I resisted. Must be remnants of my old muscles from my tomboy years. 

“W-W-What?” My stuttering embarrassed me. 

She looked me up and down and holy shit, one more time and I’ll punch someone in the throat. 

Mal opened her mouth, and then, Stacey pulled my arm harder and literally seconds later we were in the Kishi’s driveway. 

We were both panting. After looking at each other for a few seconds, we just laughed. We laughed and we laughed and we laughed until there were tears streaming down our faces. Must be because of the shock. Then I cried and Stacey hugged me and brought me to her house, where her mom listened to the whole story with the proper shocked expression on her face, while making us sugar-free cookies and hot chocolate. Then, Stacey and I talked and I cried a little bit more, and we watched movies and we talked more. And then she made me a makeover that she said made me look like Winona Ryder and that’s that. When I left, we hugged again and we promised to talk more and to write to each other and to call. It was probably my best day –and my worst- in Stonybrook. 

Yeah. 

Now. Allow me to happy dance. 

Thank you.


	5. Chapter 5

My chin was wobbly. “The thing is…” I began to cry. “I need validation? Does it make weak?”

Jo sighed. “No, love. Of course not.”

I sobbed for a while. I always felt like a bad feminist in comparison of Jo, who was such a badass and who genuinely never cared about what other people thought. And also, I’m so fucking arrogant. Jesus.

I guess it’ll take time until I truly find myself and find out who I want to be, to feel completely at ease with myself. It’ll take time, but I’m working on it. 

Jo and I were speaking on the phone, in the dead of night for me, and during supper for her. I could literally hear her mother pulling her hair out. I told her about everything. And by that, I mean about everything. Like how I really were when I was a child (a very bossy, very rude tomboy), how I created the Club when I was eleven with the help of Claudia, Mary Ann and Stacey, how I created my own softball team when I was only twelve. I even told her about Bart. 

But I guess it means that I have to tell you, too. 

I still don’t know what it was. I’m still really confused by it. I remember that I was very self-conscious about my breasts. Yes. I know. All thirteen years old girls are extremely self-conscious of their breasts. Wait, are they? I don’t know. I’ve always thought that it was the kind of thing that happened to everybody. 

To put yourself in context, I was in eighth grade, my boobs were blooming, to my complete and utter horror, and my mother was pushing me more and more to eat less and exercise more. When I think about it now, I can’t remember who was more mortified that I didn’t have mosquito bites anymore. 

So, I felt like a fat piece of shit, my self-confidence was daily shattered by my mother (and my brothers, who were all mysteriously incredibly fit) and the Club was slowly starting to dissolve. After all, high school was close and everybody was as desperate as me to find themselves. As if it would happen in stupid Stonybrook. Also, my anxiety spiked up. I had an extremely low self-esteem and was dealing with the usual symptoms associated with what a psychiatrist would diagnose now as an anxiety disorder. But at the time, I just thought that everybody was feeling as nuts as me. 

During that time, I also started to have a crush on Bart. And he totally knew it. It was so obvious. We started “dating”, which means that we would hold hands and be giggled at by our friends. Everything was going well. 

One day, during a softball game, we were talking in front of our teams about strategy. I remember it clearly. We started arguing because he was inventing some random rule that didn’t make any sense. Then, as I started to talk back, Bart grabbed me by my breasts and violently pushed me. He pushed me so hard that I fell on my ass in front of our own teams and in front of the parents of the players. 

I was mortified and utterly embarrassed. The players laughed at me and for the rest of the game, pretended to grab my breasts, just to make me squeal. The other members of the Club, who were all there, thought that it was the most hilarious thing. The parents never said a word. For the rest of the game, my breasts hurt and I felt like crying. 

You know I began to wear “real” bras when I was sixteen, right? You know why? Because from the age of thirteen and until I wore a “real” bra, I strictly wore ill-fitting sport bras to make my chest appear as small as possible. I was disgusted by my chest. I hated it. I hated when boys looked at it. And to be completely honest, I still have difficulty accepting it as a part of me. 

At last, after I confessed what happened with Bart all those years ago, Jo was silent for a few seconds before finally speaking. “Kris…”

“I know. But back then…”

“Kris, I am so sorry.”

I hummed. 

“Is that why you decided to be a women’s studies?”

I actually smiled. “You know me too well.”

In my first year of college, I was rooming with Jo, who asked me to take a class with her. So, winter semester of freshmen year, I took a women’s studies class as one of my electives. And it just blew me away in the best way. I fell in love. That’s when I realised that Bart was shit, that my family (especially my mom) was shit, that the Club was shit and that Stonybrook was shit. That’s why I vowed that I would never go back there again. 

And then I started slowly, but surely, to feel more confident, something I hadn’t felt in years. 

So now you know everything, don’t you? You weirdo who reads this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In all seriousness, I really wanted to end the story on a good note. Sure, it's basically a casual lay, but it doesn't mean that there was no love and respect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the sex you've been skipping all those chapters for.

I’m finally back in Colorado. I came back with Jo, because on the 23rd, two days before Christmas, I just couldn’t stand my family anymore and decided to leave. Watson arranged everything swiftly with the airplane company, surprisingly enough. Or maybe not. Maybe he just wanted to see me leave really bad. 

I spent the Holidays at Jo’s with her weird but completely lovable and nonjudgmental parents. While I was there, I received four emails. They were from Stacey, Claudia, Jessie and Shannon. In her email, Stacey told me about her boyfriend and her life in New York, and how she wanted me to visit her in Paris during the spring. I was so glad when I read her email. I really felt like I re-discovered an old friend. When we were younger, we were never really that close. We were too different, at two different steps of our lives. But now that we’re older, it felt right. 

Claudia, in her email, told me all about how Stacey and me were, even though she finally understood that we will never be together, the cutest couple ever. Claud, being the artist that she is, even told me that, since I inspired her for her next piece of art, she was going to send it to me as an apology gift as soon as she finished it. 

Jessie told me about how she thought that Mallory was wrong for the way she treated me when I came out to them. She also asked for my forgiveness for when she didn’t stand up for me when Mallory was so mean. She told me about her next role in her ballet company and wished me a good semester. 

Shannon’s email was the shortest one, but it was short and sweet. In hers, Shannon also asked for my forgiveness, and invited me to come visit her at UPenn. 

All in all, it ended pretty well, didn’t it?

Jo and I came back early to Colorado, just to have the residence to ourselves for a few days. It was so peaceful and quiet, for once. Walking on campus felt like walking in a ghost town. There was not a soul in sight. 

One night, we decided to put the crying (mostly done by me, I must admit) and the angst behind us, and get ourselves proper drunk one last time before classes started. We bought the Christmas themed candy that were all on sale and then went to buy alcohol. Only the weirdest name and flavour. 

It was now 1:00 AM in the morning and we were not even tipsy, since our alcohol, we discovered, tasted like utter shit. But we were fucking tired, so we acted like idiots anyway. 

“You know, this Christmas was probably the most interesting one since my mother invited my grand-mother over for the Holidays in ‘92,” proclaimed Jo happily. She was sprawled on my bed. I was sitting between her legs that were wrapped around me loosely, and she didn’t have a shirt on. Typical. 

“What’s with your grandmother?” I asked.

“She was just released from jail. She went there because she got caught with a shit-load of pot,” told Jo, before bursting out laughing. We laughed together. I clumsily laid down on my bed. 

Jo quickly sat up straight. 

“Hey! Don’t do that! Sit up straight, you drunk!” She joked while grabbing my hands and pulling me up. I laughed. We were now sitting in front of each other with our legs intertwined. 

Now. I know I’ve never really described what Jo looked like. And I won’t. Really. I’ll leave that for you imagination. But let’s just say that there’s a reason that we made out on the first night that we lived together in freshmen year. She’s fucking hot. For having seen them before, her boobs are perfect, her ass too and so is everything else. 

“We’ve never really made our good-byes,” whispered Jo in my ear. I could smell the faint smell of alcohol emanating from her mouth. But it smelled nice, it smelled like the vodka and crème de banane shot that I made us take before we gagged and gave up. Her whispering turned me on and sent shivers down my spine. 

I grinned. “But now I’m here, Jo, I’m not going anywhere.”

She began to take strands of my hair and put them behind my ears. Under the (small, very small indeed) influence of the alcohol and the caresses of Jo, I blushed. God, I’m such a lightweight. 

“I know…” she murmured gently. She approached her face close to mine, her expression serious. “I’m proud of you, Kris.”

I smiled in response. We were very close now. I took off my shirt. It felt natural. It felt okay. I knew, deep down, that tomorrow there would be no embarrassment and awkward smiles. We’re not just friends, we love each other so much, so tenderly. We’re not together and we’ll never be girlfriends or even fuck friends, but when we do get together, it’s fucking magical. 

I struggled taking off my bra. “Are we really doing this?”

Jo raised an eyebrow, her lips pursed and her breasts flushed. I exhaled and bit my bottom lip shyly while Jo took off her bra quickly. 

“Does this feels like a yes to you? Now shut up and fuck me already.”

I laughed softly and kissed her breasts slowly.

“Let me get you out of your clothes…” muttered Jo while tugging on my bra. I swallowed hard. I was already breathing heavily. 

Her warm fingers gently helped me out of my bra, and I stood up to remove my panties. Jo’s gaze was fixed on my boobs, and it made me really horny. 

Jo removed her panties and they finished on the floor, with the unopened bottles of alcohol and my own underwear. 

Our movements were sure and confident. We knew each other’s bodies, having seen it many times before (it’s bound to happen when you’ve lived in a such a small dormroom with someone for the last two years). And so we slowly began to make out, I realized that Jo’s deep red-brown lipstick was smudged and part of it was now on my lips too. I smiled at the thought. 

“Why are you smiling like that?” asked me Jo between giving me fluttery kisses on my breasts. 

I dropped my head back lazily, panting. “Because this is perfect, love,” I breathed. 

Jo cupped my breasts and hummed against my skin, the vibrations making me squirm. I grasped her jaw gently and, like she already knew that I wanted once more to taste her, she rose her face to kiss me, her eyes half-closed.

There it is, I thought. The whole story. Always nice to end a story with a good fuck. 

But back to Jo. 

“Lean back and open up, love,” she told me while wiping her lipstick with a tissue. Knowing what would come next, I hastily did what I was told. 

Slowly, too slow, she kissed my thighs. I squirmed, thirsty and eager. 

“Why does it have to take so long?” I asked, my tone whiny, anticipating her lips on mine.

“It’s foreplay, love,” told me Jo, her voice muffled. 

I sighed impatiently and opened my legs more. I heard Jo laugh. And then, finally, she began to eat me out. 

And it was amazing. I started to moan softly, appreciating the sensations. Then I grabbed the sheets, panting. I looked at the ceiling and I swear I could see stars. Jo’s mouth made some suction noises and just the sounds made me moan loudly. 

“Jo,” I moaned. I looked down and we locked gazes. She looked at me mischievously while her mouth was moving and her tongue was twisting. She extended her arm to cup my breast with her hand and my breath hitched. I arched my back and took a handful of her hair. I could feel it more and more. The waves were coming and going, slowly at first, then faster. They felt erratic, but more intense and I felt like all my senses were heightened. I couldn’t take it anymore and so I arched my back, and my fingers and toes curled while I gasped and moaned loudly (I have to take advantage of the fact that we’re alone in the residence). I felt my eyes roll back in my head and my breath getting stuck in my throat. I gasped and felt the waves become less and less strong. Who said oral sex wasn’t great? That’s right. Basically nobody. 

Jo kissed me playfully and I could taste myself on her lips. I was still out of breath and she kissed my face and neck lovingly while I tried to breath normally again. 

“Your turn, love,” I told her, my voice throaty after all the screaming. 

“I don’t want you to eat me out. Do something else,” said Jo, smirking, one of her eyebrow raised defiantly. 

I bit my lips, eager, and pushed her slowly on the bed. The bed squeaked loudly and we both laughed. We were still laughing when I lied on top of her and began to grind my thigh against her crotch. Her smile quickly disappeared from her face. She closed her eyes and her face contorted as I started to finger her. I thrusted into her, softly at first, and then more roughly, knowing that Jo liked that. She clawed my back and I felt her fingernails scratching my skin. We both gasped. 

I nuzzled her neck, appreciating the smell of her hair and her sweaty neck, slowly kissing her collarbone, then the small patch of skin between her breasts. 

“Kris,” breathed Jo. And I swear it sounded like music to my ears. 

I put her left breast completely in my mouth, my tongue swirling around her nipple, and at the same time I curled the fingers that were inside her towards me. She swore loudly. I removed my mouth from her breast and laughed.

“Now, now, Jo. You know that’s not a lady’s way of speaking.”

She squirmed and trashed around, rolling her hips while I thrust into her. 

“Just suck my goddamn boob, man,” she pleaded. 

I grinned and obeyed. I decided to rough things up a little and thrust my fingers deeper into her. I moved back to her neck and kissed it, bit it, appreciating all the sounds that she made. She whispered my name into my ear fervently, grinding her hips against my hand. 

I began to grind against her clammy thigh, feeling hornier and hornier by the second. I started to rub her clit with my other hand. We were now both moaning and breathing heavily. 

Suddenly, Jo blushed and her moans were high-pitched. I looked at her, admiring the curves of her body, the way her thighs were trembling against my hand, appreciating the way her hands were clawing my back. And then I felt her against my hand and Jo gasped. She wasn’t really a screamer, to tell you the truth. I felt her pulse around my (now cramping) hand and she opened her eyes, her gaze unfocused. 

“Look at me,” I whispered tenderly. 

Her eyes found mine. I could still feel her climax, and so, while looking at each other, I thrust and curled my fingers roughly and deep into her one last time. 

Her eyes rolled back, to my satisfaction. After a while she calmed down and I removed my hand.

Then we started to relax and feel sleepy. We could’ve probably gone on, but we were both really tired, so we decided to call it a day. 

Now, we were both underneath my sheets and on the verge of sleep. Jo was caressing my hair the way she knew makes me feel all tingly and my arm was wrapped around her waist. 

“Jo…” I whispered, quite sluggishly. 

She hummed. 

“I… I wanted to tell you…” The words were all mashed up together. I tried to keep myself from falling asleep as much as I could. 

“What, love?”

“I’m so glad how this ended, hearts.” I wanted to explain to her my theory about the ‘full circle’, but I was just too sleepy. My eyelids were heavier and heavier by the second. 

“How this ended? It’s only the beginning, love. You’ll see, we’ll be un-fucking-stoppable. Like U.S. senators, but gayer.”

I smiled and slowly dozed off. 

Then, just when I was about to fall asleep. I heard Jo whisper: “I love you, hearts.”

 

I love you too, Jo. 

 

THE END.


End file.
